Over two years have passed since a brutal killing shocked the relaxed residents of Otres. With the prime suspect recently released without charge and the investigation seemingly closed in both Cambodia and Russia, will we ever know who murdered Denis Goncharov?

When Denis Goncharov’s butchered body was discovered floating in a shallow ditch some 400m from Sihanoukville’s popular Otres Beach on July 19 2015, police quickly identified their prime suspect – the man’s best friend and business partner, Dmitry Sidorov.

The details of this horrific killing shocked the coastal community that was already reeling from a recent surge in violent crime and unrest linked to feuding Russian gangs.

Goncharov had been the victim of a frenzied knife attack that allegedly began while he was still riding his motorcycle. Police allege that the attacker was his passenger, and began knifing him as they travelled together.

Prime Suspect Flees Cambodia

The 29-year-old IT expert was stabbed and slashed 34 times in the back, before the killer also hacked at his throat in what one police officer said was an attempt to decapitate the victim.

Police in Sihanoukville immediately began to focus their investigation on Goncharov’s long-time friend and new business associate, Sidorov.

Some friends and relatives said they had become involved in a bitter business dispute and had been taking drugs together the night of the murder. An arrest warrant was issued and the hunt was on.

The prime suspect, however, acted even swifter than the cops. Within hours he had fled to Phnom Penh, and then to the Thai capital Bangkok, before catching a flight and returning home to Russia.

Cambodian authorities issued an Interpol arrest warrant for their fugitive and Russian police later captured and remanded the suspect in St. Petersburg on suspicion of murder.

Released Without Charge in Russia

Sidorov would be held in a Russian prison in his home city of Petrozavodsk facing murder charges for just over a year.

In the spring of 2017, he is released without charge as Russian prosecutors admit that the case against him has fallen apart.

With Sidorov’s release in Russia, and no other suspects in Cambodia, the killer who butchered Denis Goncharov in Sihanoukville seemingly remains free.

According to reports and statements from prosecutors and investigators in Russia, authorities had worked for over a year to build a case for conviction against Sidorov, but they allege that Cambodian authorities had failed to respond to all of their questions and requests for material linked to the case.

Back in 2015, Cambodian police admitted that they didn’t even know that Sidorov had been arrested in Russia. Some senior police officials couldn’t even remember the names of the victim and his alleged attacker.

Sidorov Innocent? 

According to Dmitry Sidorov, he and Goncharov had been best friends since school and he was shocked and disturbed to learn of his murder upon his return to his motherland. Upon discovering he was a prime suspect and being hunted by police, he was appalled.

His flights to Thailand and later to Russia on the day Goncharov’s body would be found had always been planned, he says, although it’s not known if he showed evidence of this to prosecutors.

Sidorov says that his family and friends were well aware of his travel plans and the theory that he had quickly decided to flee the country as Cambodian police hunted him is false.

He says that the two close friends spent the evening of July 18 together, drinking and smoking marijuana on Otres beach. He admits they shared a motorcycle on the way there, but says that they had parted ways on different motorcycles that evening. This claim, like many of Sidorov’s, also hasn’t been independently verified.

The following morning, attempting to locate his friend to say goodbye, Sidorov claims that Goncharov couldn’t be located. With a flight to catch, he left Sihanoukville just as a gruesome discovery was made and a murder investigation started.

Sidorov and his family and supporters argue that there were no business disagreements between the two of them, and no animosity at all that could trigger such a violent event. They also argue that there is no real evidence of his guilt, an argument that Russian authorities seemed to eventually agree with.

The family of Goncharov meanwhile – including his Chinese widow who lived with the two men in Cambodia – continue to allege that Sidorov had the motive and means to butcher his oldest friend, was also the last person to see him alive and fled the country for the safety of Russia after committing the horrific murder.

Whatever the truth in this murder case, with Sidorov released without charge, the prosecution abandoned in Russia and no open investigation in Cambodia, the killer of Denis Goncharov remains free and justice continues to elude his family and friends.

Jack Laurenson is a British writer and editor who previously lived in Cambodia and reported for a national newspaper here. He’s now based in Ukraine. He has posted the first part of this story on his new blog, here:

https://jacklaurenson.wordpress.com/2017/11/12/the-russian-in-the-river-the-murder-of-denis-goncharov/

Are you a fan of independent cinema? Well it looks like we’ve got some great treats about to be served up at The Asia South East – Short Film Festival happening at Meta House Cultural Centre in Phnom Penh on December 9th and 16th. The festival is being curated by Rod Fraser who is also the festival director of two other film fests that happen in the UK; the London-X4 Seasonal Short Film Festival and London-Worldwide Comedy Short Film Festival. We asked him a few questions about the upcoming event.

K440: Can you tell us why you decided to hold a film festival in Phnom Penh?

RF: Well I lived in Phnom Penh three years ago and knew Meta House and Nico who runs it and thought it was a great venue for a film festival. Phnom Penh has quite a bohemian side to it with a lot of creative ex-pats and locals who I thought would be up for checking out some less mainstream films. The festivals I run in the UK are great but we tend to show many films originating from the western hemisphere. This festival will also have plenty of films from the western hemisphere but I also wanted to be able to screen more films from the eastern and southern hemispheres. The only continent we don’t have films from is Antarctica and we’ve tried to remedy that by emailing Morgan Freeman and asking him to put us in touch with any emperor penguin filmmakers he might know. He hasn’t got back to us yet though which is a bit rude if you ask me. Manners cost nothing.

K440: How did you get involved in curating film festivals?

I actually come from a background in stand up comedy and comedy show promotion but I’ve also been making short comedy films, sketches and animation for years and I decided to be proactive and start a small comedy film festival so I could surreptitiously screen my own films to see which ones worked and which ones didn’t. That was the plan anyways. Unfortunately I haven’t been able to show any of my own films yet because the production values are so rubbish they would stick out like a sore thumb compared to the other films. I still think some of them are funny and my mum agrees so there’s a chance I’ll be screening one or two of them in the future, say 2035. The comedy film festival we hold in London is really enjoyable and we get great feedback from the audiences but I also love lots of other types of film and wanted to be able to screen a wider variety of genres so I decided to start another festival in London that runs the full gamut from documentary to horror films. That one is also going really well too so I thought I would expand to south east Asia as I know the region quite well. We’re also hosting another edition in Saigon in 2018 and will be back in Phnom Penh at the end of 2018.

Another thing that interested me was that since the dawn of Youtube, Facebook and cheap video camera technology there has been a real surge in independent filmmaking from every part of the world. It’s a very accessible art form now and you no longer need to interact with Harvey Weinstein and his plant to take part. I also love the fact that when you watch a short film you’re looking through the eyes of the filmmaker into a world that you might never actually get to see in real life. We’ve screened documentaries that feature a cast of Iraqi children set in a scrapyard in Baghdad and ones about male stripping in the north of England and the lengths the strippers go to increase their, er, length. Also some fantastic comedies about couples who work out their relationship difficulties by waterboarding each other or one about a phone sex company for zoophiles which, unsurprisingly, was made in Holland.

K440: So what kind of films do you have lined up for the Asia South East short film fest?

Well, we have some great short films that I’m really excited about. We’ve got drama shorts, action shorts, comedy shorts, documentary shorts, animation shorts, horror shorts, experimental shorts, sci-fi shorts and musical shorts. We even have a special category for aspiring Cambodian filmmakers. There’s one documentary film in particular that I think will really move people and show a side of life in south east Asia they’ve never seen before. As I am sitting there also watching the films with the audience, the most important thing to me is that they are engaged and involved by the films. An audience that feels bored is something I try to avoid at all cost. It’s like me offering up some cupcakes I’ve made to someone and them smiling politely and then spitting it out under the table. But I don’t underestimate an audience’s intelligence either. People who enjoy independent films usually don’t have to be spoon fed the usual Hollywood film tropes. I’m using a lot of food analogies for some reason. Awards are given to films in their various categories and also for cinematic skills such as direction, scripting, acting etc. and we’ll have a panel of judges using their discretion to hand these out.

K440: Ok, can you give us the logistics of the film festival?

RF: The Asia South East-Short Film Festival will be held on Saturdays December 9th and 16th, 2017.

The program on both evenings starts at 7 PM and continues to around 10.30 PM, although we will have breaks if people have to leave before the end. Entry is free although we already have a lot of ticket reservations, especially on the 9^th, so it’s probably best to reserve a ticket through this link at Eventbrite. It’s free to reserve too.  https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/asia-south-east-short-film-festival-tickets-36648553811

The festival will be held at Meta House Cultural Centre, 37 Samdach Sothearos Blvd, Phnom Penh

Phone: 023 224 140

We will be bringing the best short films from around the world to an appreciative Phnom Penh audience. This will be the audiences’ only chance to see many of these films as they are not in wide release or most times even available outside of film festivals. We really look forward to welcoming everyone and hosting a very rewarding, entertaining, informative and fun festival. See you there.

Cambodia is the wild west of Asia.

At least that’s what I thought when I landed in Phnom Penh. I was 26-years-old, it was my second time in Asia and I had no idea what to expect. The only other Asian country I had visited before was Thailand. Now it was time to broaden my horizon.

I had planned every detail. I wanted to visit the Royal Palace, the National Museum and the Wat Phnom. And then it happened. My plans went down the drain.

Why? Well, I met a girl.

I met a girl who was so beautiful, so feminine, and so playful that I wanted to spend every second with her. Yes, we went to the Wat Phnom. But we didn’t make it to the National Museum because we were too busy talking about each other’s culture, beliefs and values.

And I was too busy falling in every trap that the Cambodian dating culture provided me with.

What? You Can Speak English?

I didn’t plan to meet her. But when I saw her, I just had to approach her. I took my courage in both hands and said: “Excuse me, do you speak English?”

I expected a blank stare, a hesitant and shy “no”, or something along the lines of “I no English”. Then it happened. She opened her mouth and spoke English. I was shocked. Seriously, I couldn’t believe it.

I asked her if she was Cambodian. She nodded her head. I asked her why she can speak English so well. She was pissed because I was just another ignorant foreigner who believes that Khmer women are uneducated.

And no, before you ask, she doesn’t work as a bar girl. She has a normal job in a fancy hotel in Phnom Penh. I won’t reveal the name, but I’ll reveal another secret that I learned:

Cambodian women have better English skills than Thai women.

I said it. And I won’t take it back.

Give off a Sex Tourist Vibe and You’re Out

Days later I asked her: “Why did you talk to me? Why didn’t you reject me?”

She told me about her experience with other foreigners. Usually, some guy in a dirty tank top, sandals, and socks approaches her. She doesn’t even listen to these guys because well, they are “sex tourists”. “The stereotype is true”, she told me. “They all look the same.”

What about me?

I dressed up. Okay, I didn’t wear a suit, but I wore a blue button shirt, long pants and shoes that consist of more fabric than flip flops. This made all the difference. My vibe was casual and friendly, not desperate and horny.

The moral of the story:

Don’t give off sex tourist vibes. In other words, leave the goddamn sandals and tank tops in the closet.

Avoid Irish Pubs if You Want to Meet Good Girls

Phnom Penh has more than 1.5 million inhabitants. You can meet hundreds, no thousands of good, educated, and friendly Cambodian women.

Why on earth would you look for one in an Irish Pub?

Think before you go out. The guys who spend the whole day sitting in a bar and wondering how to meet a girl that doesn’t work in a are desperate and clueless, at least most of them. A man with a life, mission, and a purpose doesn’t spend his valuable time sipping seven beers in an Irish Pub in Cambodia. It’s that simple.

So, who do you think goes to Western bars to meet men?

Yep, these girls are probably hookers. Or let’s call them potential girlfriends who expect a compensation for their time-investment. Anyway, these are not the kind of women you want to meet.

You want to meet the kind of girls who ask you to eat a damn scorpion.

Wait? What??

I Really Don’t Want to Eat This Scorpion

The biggest pitfalls when it comes to dating in Cambodia are the delicious local meals. Yeah, they are so “delicious”. I want to puke when I think back to some of the things I ate. Yikes!

Okay, I didn’t try the fried spiders. I also didn’t eat any of the crispy crickets. Even though she told me that they taste like chicken wings. No, I ate something else. I tried grilled scorpions, and let me tell you something.

That stuff is quite good.

However, once I thought about what I just ate, I had to run to the bathroom and…I want to spare you the details.

Why Do I Feel Like Walking Next to a Child?

What I’m about to share might sound funny, but it was a serious issue for me.

I had to learn to deal with the fact that she was 30 centimeters smaller than me.

Oh boy, that wasn’t easy. I consider myself a human being with strong moral values. And I felt as if I was walking next to a child. It was so creepy at first, and I was weirded out by myself.

Please don’t get me wrong. I was 26 and she was 25. There was nothing weird or creepy about us being together. I’ve seen way creepier shit in Cambodia than me. But still, it felt weird. In the past, I had always dated women who were taller than 1.60 meters. Now I was walking next to a woman who was 1.50 meters… in high heels! Every time I kissed her, my back hurt. I felt like a grandpa, a creepy grandpa.

She’s More Conservative than Your Grandmother

There’s something you need to know about Cambodian women and you either love it or hate it.

They are pretty conservative.

I tried to kiss her in public (that was dumb). She pushed me away. I asked her to come back to my hotel room. She said “I’m not a prostitute” (duh!). When I told her about her plans in life, she told me that she wants to get married and have a family. Man, I wasn’t ready for children.

It was tough. But I got used to it. In fact, I learned to appreciate it. In the West it’s almost impossible to meet a traditional woman. Now I finally met one. And I couldn’t even get to third base.

She Lives with Her Family and They Want to Meet You

What’s the scariest thing about dating Cambodian women?

Yep, it’s her family.

I mean, it’s not that they are running around with knifes, arrows, and Halloween mask to scare the shit out of you. That’s not what I mean. They are really friendly. But they are so many. I’m an only child with a mom, a dad, and two aunts. That’s about it.

When she told me to meet her family, I expected three or maybe five people.

Suddenly, I found myself standing in front of a 24 Cambodians. Holy crap! I was so nervous that I could feel my heartbeat in my left foot. It took me a while to get comfortable. But don’t worry. None of them had knifes and arrows.

It was all a phenomenal experience.

The author, Sebastian Harris, has written about dating Cambodian women on his own blog, with 24 Facts About Dating Cambodian Girls You Must Know

From a semi-submerged sandbar rising from where the Bassac, Tonle sap and Mekong rivers converge, to the shining light triumphing Phnom Penh’s rapid development as an international city, Koh Pich, or Diamond Island, had a short, and often troubled history.

Humble Beginnings

Koh Pich in the 1990’s

Local legend has it that around 50 years ago a ship sank near the mouth of the Tonle Bassac river. Deposits of silt built up, creating a 700 metre wide island. The area was settled after 1979 by fishing families who also grew crops in the rich soil. By 2004 a conglomerate, Overseas Cambodian Investment Corporation (OCIC), was given permission to develop the island into an international commercial centre.

After a protracted, and often controversial, relocation deal with residents was reached in 2005, and initial construction beginning in 2006, the island is still in a frenzy of building activity over a decade later.

A satellite image showing Koh Pich before and after development began

Tragedy and Recovery

The darkest chapter of recent Cambodian history took place on a fateful night in November 2010. The water festival, a 3 day annual event, is one of the most important dates in the Cambodian calendar. Held to mark the end of the monsoon season and the beginning of the rice harvest, people flock to Phnom Penh to watch boat races and concerts.

22^nd November 2010 will be remembered for ‘The Koh Pich Stampede’, after estimated crowds of 4 million people gathered in Phnom Penh. A bottleneck of festival goers built up on Koh Pich’s northern Diamond Gate Bridge and in the resulting crush 347 lives were lost, although that figure is still questioned and said to be much higher. No official has ever been charged or brought to account over the incident.

A memorial to the victims of the Koh Pich Stampede

A Buddhist stupa now sits close to the site, and the incident is marked each year with a memorial ceremony.

Since the disaster, the original Diamond Gate Bridge was demolished and replaced with the double ‘Twin Dragons Bridge’. Two more crossings were also constructed; Swan Bridge in the centre of the island, and Rainbow Bridge at the south, to ease congestion.

The 2016 Bon Om Touk water festival made a triumphant return to Koh Pich, with an emphasis on public safety. The event was hailed as a great success and was crowd safety was improved on for 2017.  After a series of cancellations, this important celebration of Cambodian traditions is set to once again return to the calendar.

Diamond Island Today

The Island sits on the Bassac, Tonle Sap and Mekong Rivers

Today the north end of the island has become one of the hottest hangouts for Phnom Penh youth, who flock every evening to drink, chat and relax on the riverside. Amusement games and fairground rides in the ‘Children’s Park’ give the area a carnival atmosphere and is family friendly.

After dark street vendors serve up a variety of popular snacks, whilst popular restaurants and fast food outlets cater to those who wish to enjoy everything from fried insects, to suki soup, burgers and seafood close to the river.

Dozens of restaurants have opened along the north side of the island

One of the oldest buildings on Koh Pich is the Diamond Island Conference and Exhibition Center, which hosts concerts, conferences, international trade fairs, and lavish Cambodian wedding ceremonies.

Koh Pich City Hall has a Roman theme

Another building used for wedding functions, as well as official ASEAN dinner receptions is the classically designed Koh Pich City Hall. Opened in 2010, the stunning building and Roman gardens can seat 4000 guests, with the price of a table starting at around $500.

For those who like to get on the fairways, but don’t have time to leave the city, the Huione Golf Club (formally Elite Golf Club) has a driving range, putting area and indoor golf simulator, as well as a gym, pool and sauna.

Huione Golf Club- practice your swing in the city

Around Swan Bridge, on the eastern side of the island are several hotels, including the Shaly Boutique and J’adore Lodge.

A Diamond Life

Privacy and security is key in the Elite Town community

The south of Koh Pich has been dedicated to urban development, with Elite Town. Boreys, or gated communities, sit on streets named after Ivy League schools. With an emphasis on comfort, convenience and security, the villas are in high demand and carry an asking price of $400,000 up to $2,000,000. A 4 bedroom villa from Towncity Real Estate can be rented for $3500 a month.

Due to its proximity to amenities, and Cambodia’s largest shopping complex, Aeon Mall, the area is popular with expats from around the world and diplomats.

Canadian International School

Canadian International School, which opened in 2016, offers a fully accredited curriculum from the province of Alberta, Canada. Currently running programs for pre-school to grade 8, the school, located in Elite Town has plans to expand and develop classes through to secondary level.

The Casa Meridian will be the first condo complex to open

Several ambitious condo developments are almost ready on the island, with the twin towered, 33 story high Casa Meridian due to be completed by the end of this year. With the first 3 floors being reserved for commercial usage, residential condos are available from the fourth floor. The developers promise amenities, such as swimming pool, tennis courts and gym to give owners 5 star luxury living, along with panoramic river views. Prices range from $100,000 to over $1 million with foreign investors being targeted as potential buyers, helped by changes made to old property laws, which now allow condos and apartments to be 100% owned by non-citizens.

A stone’s throw away, and also slated for completion in 2017, is the DI Riviera. Modelled on the iconic Marina Bay Sands complex in Singapore, the five building structure will have three towers of 37 floors and two of 28 making it one of the tallest buildings in Cambodia, once completed.

The DI Riviera has been modelled on Singapore’s Marina Bay Sands

The Future

The Diamond Island story is still far from complete. The success of the Casa Meridian and DI Riviera complexes will determine the number of new condo projects already slated to be built around the area. Access is set to be further improved by two more bridges, bringing the total to five.

Many new developments are taking a neo-classical design

Hopes for a new diplomatic quarter based on the island have also been raised after the Embassy of South Korea opened its doors on Elite Road.

With so much achieved in a relatively short time, the rise of Koh Pich, from marshy farmland to high-end luxury, has not always been easy. As Phnom Penh expands at an astonishing rate each year, all eyes will be on the ambitious diamond, trapped between three rivers and wonder how bright it will shine in an ever-changing city.

An edited version of this article has previously been published in print. It is reprinted here in full with the author’s permission. 

I had some friends visiting from out of town for a week, and they wanted to have a fun and different experience from our other nights out in Phnom Penh. It was an easy choice to settle on Le Broken Plate, which is almost hidden on street 13 and certainly out of place for the surroundings. I had been once before with a large group, but this time it was only four of us. I called mid afternoon and made a reservation, which certainly seems like it needs to be done.

Le Broken Plate is a Japanese inspired restaurant with a focus on sourcing local and sustainable products, as the Cambodian chef will explain at your table. He spent 18 years in Montreal, and as one of our dining companions commented, seems like he is straight out of San Fransisco (in a good way). Fluent in English, French and Khmer, he easily switches between them all as he makes his way around the small dining room to ensure that everyone is enjoying themselves.

There are three menu options: $30, $40, and $50, which are portion sized for two. The options do have different serving amounts (7, 9 and 11 courses; and for a work dinner with 18 people he did a special $25 5 course menu), but the price difference is more about the quality of the ingredients. We opted for two $50 courses (although we could have mixed it up and done a $50 and a $30, for example), while friends that I saw at the bar had opted for a $40 set. If something in particular stands out, you could also order that on top of your set. Needless to say, each of our groups walked out stuffed beyond belief, and we were not ordering anything additional.  It should also be pointed out that the edamame which is served when you sit down is very addictive, and be warned not to over indulge in those before your meal even arrives.

An extensive sake menu to choose from

We really like the atmosphere and design of the place. It’s small and cozy, with a clear eye into the bar area where they’re preparing and plating your food. We had ordered a bottle of sparkling, and when that was done the owner/chef was liberally pouring us sake to try, and chatting it up with us. There is a second floor that was hosting a birthday party, and you could tell they were having a blast up there. It’s also certainly a place to see and be seen: not only did I catch my friend on a date, but I saw another friend in a group at the bar, a young Cambodian Director General that I knew appeared for dinner, and later on another well known expat businessman poked his head in to see who was around.

 Soup #1

 Soup #2

 Main Seafood Platter (several “courses”)

The Main Meat/Cooked Seafood Platter

Always need some oysters

Some of the best congee I’ve had (seafood congee), but was so full by this point.

 Stuffed “crab brain”

One of the downsides that needs to be worked upon is the timing of the courses. We waited a decent while after ordering to have two soups appear at once, and later on the two main platters were served on top of one another, and then there was a long break before the last two courses. Everything served comes out beautifully, and there are common flavors to bring you through the meal; at times, a little too common throughout.

All in all, it is an excellent choice for dinner, may you be on a date, with friends, or entertaining a business colleague that would like to try something a little different. The atmosphere is killer, the chef more than affable, and the food is an excellent value. Our dinner for four with a bottle of sparkling was $129.  A date (food and wine) could easily be done for under $60.

Cambodia is changing. On the way out are the wretched, the desperate, the runaways, alkies and deathpats. They don’t suit the new ‘developed’ status that the country now is hell-bent on portraying, albeit fairly unsuccessfully. Out with the beer guts proudly displayed protruding from wife-beater vests! Out with the flip-flops/sandles/thongs! Out with the Walkabout – tear down that Mall!

In with the Chinese and their discreet KTV clubs and restaurants of garish neon, for they shall bring investment and casinos. And they shall inherit the earth, until the debt bubble bursts and the paper tiger collapses like a gambling house of Sihanoukville playing cards.

But white folk aren’t banned, there are still plenty about; it is merely the demographics which are shifting. When the streets were rough, mean and paved with holes, and one could rent the Jacuzzi suite on Rue Pasteur along with 3 Viet hookers dressed in ball gowns, the very idea of a man-bun sporting, waistcoat wearing digital nomad quaffing deconstructed lattes from an ironic drinking horn would have been as alien a concept as 24 hour electricity, work permits or 4g internet.

Of course, your average English teacher or drunk on a budget couldn’t afford one of the thousands of shoddy looking condos springing up like prefab concrete triffids, nor would they be able to spunk a few grand playing baccarat in a windowless cavern. And whilst the sales of second hand Hondas would remain stable, the luxury car market would stagnate.

Backpacker orientated businesses are eagerly trying to sell up for health reasons, or are pushed from town to town by a tsunami of apartment swallowing Sino casino staff and VOIP scammers. TEFL jobbers are increasingly jumping the border over to Vietnam (even Jewsbury’s got work over there FFS), whilst their more well at heel brethren are busy sipping mango daiquiris on the rooftop of Rosewood- or scoffing down swan truffle canapés, hand crafted by an artisan who once worked in a Michelin star restaurant.

Yet Phnom Penh is not downtown Tokyo, trendy Soho or cultured Paris. It’s still an absolute shithole, albeit with a face-lift akin to a dodgy botox injection administered by an unqualified beautician in a back street plastic surgery-cum-abortion clinic. The city is a turd, which can never be polished, or at least not for a long time yet.

So what of the masses? Where should they head, now that the dens of iniquity are undergoing gentrification along Street 51? Most of Street 172 and Bogan bars like Fuel hang on as refuges to the bottom-feeder, but for how long, nobody knows. There are, however, the final strongholds, the last bastions of day time drunks on a budget and they are still to be found across the city. These are the Mini-Marts, and long may they continue.

A good Mini-Mart should offer the following to their clientele- a range of cold beers, cigarettes, snacks and outside seating and not have a strict dress code. Sexual performance medicines, prophylactic sheaths, sanitary products, 24 hour opening and toilet facilities are, of course, a bonus.

There are local institutions, like Neil’s 24 Hour on Street 136, Smile Marts and clones with names like Panda,  Llama, Kiwi, and even now the new kid on the block, US franchise 7-11 (not to be confused with 9-11, which has been open for years, seemingly without realizing the irony).

So, as the Writer’s Page of Khmer440 is gentrified by articles about poncey paint and pinot, or baller banquets in Bangkok (and, please nobody mention fucking Bouchan or Sonoma), the gauntlet was thrown down to find the finest mini-mart in town.

Review Time- Camko Mart *****

Location: Located on Angkor Boulevard at the northern fringes of Toul Kork, the Camko Mart, a focal point for the disappointing utopian dream that is Camko City, isn’t the easiest mart to get to. This shouldn’t put you off, as it keeps away the riff-raff. Along this well built, but barely used modern highway, oriental gentleman in mid-life crisis mode ride expensive carbon framed mountain bikes, replete in their finest lycra livery. Across the road is an open expanse of waste ground, no doubt for sale at a ridiculous price, combining the gritty urban setting with the sweet vibes of mother nature. ****

Ambience: The al fresco seating arrangement at Camko Mart is of a higher standard than lesser marts found near the riverside. Stylish faux wicker chairs and circular tables with real glass tops are the essence of high quality marting, putting Camko Mart a cut above the competition. The noise of Mong Rethy Street is a mere murmur in the background, like a new age soundtrack playing at an unobtrusive volume.

The area is particularly popular amongst Koreans and Japanese, and, as one relaxes in the shade, there is the opportunity to people-watch, as families go past, trying to get their spoiled, morbidly obese offspring to get some exercise through offers of ice cream and energy drinks. ****

Selection: Camko Mart has one of the finest arrays of beverages in the city. A well-stocked refrigerator has something for everyone- on my visit I counted many local lagers, as well as Magner’s cider, and imports including bottles of Fuller’s London Pride, Porter and Honeydew ales. At under $2 a bottle for the rare brews, you’d be hard pushed to find better value for money at other, inferior convenience stores.   

There is also a wide range of wines and spirits on offer, which could in theory be drunk on site, or taken away to continue the party.

To the rear of the store is a poor man’s Toys R Us, which, together with the gelataria, makes Camko Mart a family friendly environment where drunken parents can bribe the kids with plastic tat and ice cream to keep them amused. *****

Clientele: Mostly a young, Asian crowd who like to gather in small groups to discuss hot news and mooch free wi-fi from the coffee shop next door.

A lack of girly bars and knocking shops in Camko City means the eye candy is lackluster, so isn’t particularly suited to pervs and lechers, although the odd diamond in the rough may appear unexpectedly. A few nubile Slavic types from the gated community have been spotted doing sports, and there is the potential for Japanese MILF hunters, if that’s your bag. ***

Food: Hors d’oeuvres such as peanuts, dried peas and squid based snacks may be purchased from the counter, however Mike’s Burger House is a few doors down and BYO burgers are not in any way discouraged by the effusive Camko Mart management. ***

Toilet Facilities: A grey area for chaps, as it is easy to nip over the road and give the bushes a sprinkle. There should be somewhere for number 2’s and a place for the ladies to powder their noses. The coffee shop and burger joint are other, emergency options. **

Overall: Although a little off the beaten path for daytime alcoholics, a trip to Camko Mart is a rewarding day out for the true mini mart connoisseur. Genuine marteteers  will take delight with the pleasant, unpretentious setting and wonderfully well stocked fridge, friendly staff and nearby amenities. Camko Mart stands tall amongst the crowd as a place for upmarket lowlifes to have a boozy weekend afternoon. ***** 

Other Reviews (These are 100% real reviews from facebook and Google):

“It is good place for me, always make fresh over there i really love it.”

“I like the designation right there and the view look cool.”

“I like there”

“Nice place! For buy and we can sit outdoor”

“Very busy little mart from lath afternoon for the local people, drink and chit chat..”

“look so nice ..”

According to the World Bank, Cambodia has the following scores out of 190 countries with regards to doing business:

Over all ease of doing business rank: 135

Paying taxes: 136

Starting a business: 183

Dealing with construction permits: 179

Enforcing contracts: 179

This leaves 65 countries which are worse to do business in, admittedly, such as the DRC, South Sudan and Yemen, which may not be the best places to open a vegan café or Elvis themed dive bar in. Yet fools keep hopping on the carousel of certain financial ruin, going round and round until they feel dizzy and sick, then passing the seat on to the next white man with a wedge and poorly thought out business model.

Running a successful business in a place where you speak the language, understand the culture and can nurture a loyal customer base is tricky enough, but trying it in a place where there are several thousand ‘generals’ and a population which still believes in magic scarecrows and burns witches, means you gotta be crazy.

Cambodia itself is detrimental to your health, and working in Cambodia is even more severely detrimental. Owning a business in Cambodia is the equivalent of smoking 5 packs of Marlboro Reds and drinking 5 pints of whisky a day (also known as ‘breakfast’ for some expat barkeepers).  Holidays are an impossible dream, as staff and customers are ready to load up unsecured stock into a tuk tuk as soon as your taxi leaves for the airport. In short, the stress of running a business can lead to alcoholism, peptic ulcers, cardiovascular problems, strokes and insanity. Thus the main reason for selling ‘profitable, turnkey’ operations is due to poor health.

But before you get sucked in by the idea of shelling out $30k on a shop unit in Kampot with 2 years 8 months left on the lease, here is a quickly complied 7 point list of why you should never open a business in Cambodia. None of this is fiction, but hard stone cold facts from real people and real businesses over the past few years.

1) Return on investment.

If you have money to burn, save yourself the hassle of doing business in Cambodia, and just burn it. Use it to light a Barbie or warm the house, or something actually useful. It is hard enough to make a profit, let alone see any returns on the outlay for setting up the project, especially in the hospitality racket.

Either you pay over the odds for somebody else’s dream, along with the stock and furnishings, or you face the nightmare of local contractors fitting out an empty space to look fashionable and hip enough to draw in paying punters.

When the reality of working 15 hour days just to pay bills and eat finally dawns, then it’s time to get out. The best thing is to do is to get down on your bended knees and pray to your god to deliver a sucker who will reply to your ad for a ‘turnkey operation’. Then practice your best shit eating grin and smother down on a greasy salesman charm offensive until the sap wires through the cash. If luck is on your side, then perhaps breaking even is a possibility. 9/10 you lose.

2) Landlords can be assholes.

Khmer landlords have a reputation for not really playing by Queensbury rules. Contracts are routinely broken, rents are hiked up by 100% and more at the end of a 5 year lease, and deposits are rarely returned. Plus clauses state properties must be in ‘original condition’, which, although means ‘shit hole condition’ actually allows them to keep as many fittings paid for and installed by the tenant as possible, and retaining the deposit as the flaking walls have been repainted and the leaking ceiling patched up. Landlords would often rather lose rental income than face.

If the building owners strike gold and are approached by legitimate businessmen from China, who offer silly money to take over the premises to build a hotel-casino complex, you’ll be turfed out on your ear quicker than you can say egg foo-yung. Just ask the guys down in Little Macao.

3) Partners can be assholes.

Choosing a business partner can be tricky anywhere in the world, with the first rule being ‘trust’. However, in the Kingdom of Wonder there are exactly zero trustworthy characters. Zilch, nada, not one.

It doesn’t matter if you team up with a high flying European investor with cash to burn, a fellow restauranteur who wants to go halves on a pizza parlor and jazz club or a meth addict recently washed up from Pattaya, they’ll all end up doing the dirty somehow.

Legal threats, visits from top brass officials, digging up dirt and slanderous half-truths being leaked on the internet right down to selling the business for cash without consultation, or simply robbing as much as can be carried before legging it across the border are just a few ways those you trust will bend you over and sodomise you with a red hot sledgehammer.

Of course any hint of scandal is eagerly lapped up by the circling gossip-vultures who make up the majority of fellow expats, who like nothing more than to wallow in schadenfreude and revel in the failings of others.

4) Local staff can be assholes.

Labor is cheap in Cambodia. Work ethics can be equally low. Not only do workers receive 27 public holidays a year under National Labor Law, but will also require further days off for:

Weddings

Engagements

Funerals

7/100/365+day funeral ceremonies

Good luck ceremonies

House warmings

Sick relatives

Just ‘busy’

General ‘stomach-aitch’ and ‘head-aitch’.

Much of the working day will be spent glued to a smartphone anyway, with clientele being treated as an inconvenience whenever they have the ill manners to ask for something. Many will have their hands in the till or skim off as many Riel as possible when buying stock from the market.

Staffing problems can be further exasperated by taking on members of the same family, who will close ranks in the event of any dispute, or cover each other’s hides when cash and stock go missing.

Females with a bit of sass may run off with the first white customer to charm his way under her safety shorts, leaving the business understaffed again. Others will relish the provided training, progress well with a great eye for detail before putting all the experience gained into great use by negotiating a local price on a property across the street, bring in the family as helpers and start knocking out the same products at a substantially cheaper rate.

5) Customers are assholes.

Foreigners with cash want good quality and good service, which don’t always skip merrily hand in hand together. Poor teachers, general pond scum and backpackers want everything free. All will use your free wi-fi to leave terrible reviews on Tripadvisor, just for the hell of it. Others will argue the bill or skip it all together. Customers from certain Asian countries may very well use every floor space and furnishing as an ashtray/spittoon and shout a lot. In addition, even not so rarely, somebody might walk in off the street and decide to die on the premises.

6) The ‘Man’ is on your back.

There is a reason for Cambodia being so low down on the whole starting a business thing. Back in the day a hand-painted sign, a few crates of drinks and some furniture in a lakeside shack were all the credentials needed to set up shop. Nowadays it’s a murky world of taxes, business licenses, registrations, staff quotas, work permits, NSSF contributions and other stuff men in uniform seem to make up and enforce at a whim. Shakedowns from various departments are not unheard of, nor are requests for gifts around public holidays. The best thing about these rules and regulations is that nobody actually seems to know anything about them, until they suddenly become a thing, and thus liability is backdated to 1993.

The powers that be might suddenly decide all signage must be in yellow with a flower on, or that everything beginning with the letter P is immoral and has a detrimental effect on the youth, thus illegal to sell. After a national clampdown on pizza and pasta, the law gets forgotten about until the next time a big player’s daughter gets engaged, or when he loses a five figure sum at Naga world.

7) Competition.

No matter what you do, if it works well and others notice you making money, then a string of copycats will pop up in the neighborhood, ripping off everything from your logo down to the color of the staff uniforms. They will change at least one vowel of your registered business name to avoid any confusion over intellectual property rights.

This competition will also pull in the support from family or grab a few teenagers from Prey Veng in a debt bondage scheme, allowing lower overheads to cut costs. The average white tourist knows nothing of this, and would rather buy from a local business than a carpet bagging neo-colonialist who sleeps on a mattress stuffed with dollars made from exploiting the poor natives.

Any complaints will be met with screeching in the streets and a visit from another family member, who just happens to be a high ranking police officer.

In Conclusion

Before the various expat ‘winners’ and Chamber of Commerce members chime in, it is acknowledged that some foreigners have done well for themselves, despite the difficulties mentioned. Yet the great majority does not.

Now, want to buy a bar? Great location, walk in trade, loyal customer base. 3 years left on the lease ($1200 a month), staff (like family) willing to stay on. $33,000, reason for selling- health.

Rent: $43,200

Conservative staff salary: $16,200

Conservative bills: $7200

Tax and ‘extras’: $?000

Purchase: $33,000

That’s at least $100,000 outgoings over the 3 years, without paying yourself a wage. A hell of a lot of beers need to be sold to make a profit. What’ll go first – Your health or your cash?

Last year, I wrote an article bitching and moaning about the U.S. State Department’s stonewalling response to my Freedom of Information Act (“FOIA”) request for documents about a bar fight involving an embassy staffer outside Golden Sorya Mall. That incident was described as follows in the August 2014 edition of Bayon Pearnik magazine:

The Original Response to My FOIA Request

My article discussed that three years after I submitted my FOIA request, the State Department’s FOIA Hearing Officer sent me this rather shameful collection of completely whitewashed documents:

I argued in the article that the State Department’s refusal to provide me with any substantive information about the bar fight violated the department’s FOIA obligations and was quite shameful and hypocritical, in light of how our diplomats continually implore Cambodian authorities to adopt a culture of governmental transparency.

A few months after writing the article, I did what any perfectly sane person with way too much time on his hands would do. I appealed the State Department’s improper response to my FOIA request.

The Appeal

The gist of my 7 page appeal was: (1) there’s nothing private about an embassy staffer fighting in public, (2) no secret law enforcement techniques would be revealed by producing the incident report and photos, and (3) withholding these documents is inconsistent with our government’s regular practice of releasing information when our personnel misbehave, or are the victims of violent crime, in foreign lands.

My appeal was assigned to a FOIA appeals panel of three former U.S. ambassadors:

1. 90 year-old Francis Terry McNamara, who served in the U.S. Navy during World War II before joining the foreign service during President Eisenhower’s first term. He was serving as Consul General in Can Tho, Vietnam in April 1975 when he led a heroic evacuation down the Bassac River at the helm of a landing craft with 300 Vietnamese employees and members their families aboard. They were picked up by a passing freighter after making it to the South China Sea. McNamara later served as ambassador to Gabon and Cape Verde.

2. 77 year-old James F. Mack, an Ivy League graduate (OK, he went to Cornell, but still) and early Peace Corps volunteer who joined the foreign service in 1966 and was promptly posted to our embassy in Saigon working for Ambassador Henry Cabot Lodge. 31 years later Mack was named ambassador to Guyana.

3. 81 year-old William Ryerson, also a Cornell graduate, who joined the foreign service a few days after President Kennedy was sworn in and served in Berlin during Kennedy’s famous visit there. He became an expert on our relations with Eastern Europe, and in 1991 President Bush named him the first U.S. Ambassador to Albania since 1939.

That’s a pretty good panel of accomplished men. They are men of substance, men who devoted their lives to performing essential diplomatic work for the United States, advancing freedom and democracy in difficult and dangerous Cold War hotspots. And now, in their golden years, these three former ambassadors were tasked with reading and ruling on my whiny appeal begging for documents about a knucklehead embassy staffer getting his ass kicked in a bar fight on Street 51.

The Panel’s Response to My Appeal

I am pleased to report that this panel of very wise and super-old white dudes agreed with me and granted my FOIA appeal, for the most part. They released the Local Guard Force Incident Report, which explains that on July 25, 2014 at about 10:55 p.m., an embassy guard posted in at a residence in Boeung Keng Kang 1 encountered an embassy staffer with a serious head wound emitting heavy bloodshed. The staffer explained that “the bad guy hit him and his car at Pit Stop bar #48E0 on Street 51.” He was taken to SOS Clinic for treatment.

The panel also released three previously withheld pages of photos of the incident. Those photos (two of which are nearly identical) were sent to me as poor quality black and white copies on A4 paper. They appear to show a car with a completely smashed driver’s side window as well as damage to the windshield consistent with it having been hit by a can of Anchor or similar object.

Here are even poorer quality photos I just took of these black and white copies with my phone.

The panel decided to withhold the two remaining photos of the incident on the basis of “personal privacy.” I’m guessing these withheld photos show the embassy staffer and his bloody head.

The Bayon Pearnik column mentioned that when the pugilistic embassy staffer initially drove off, locals pelted his car with “stuff.” The photos of the broken window and windshield appear to confirm the veracity of Bayon Pearnik‘s report. The Bayon Pearnik account also mentioned that after the staffer left the scene in his car, embassy SUVs and a K-9 team showed up at the scene of the fight and caused half the customers of Golden Sorya Mall to depart. The Local Guard Force Incident Report does not mention this K-9 team response at all.

The End

As I wrote in my original article:

Look, I’m not naive. I anticipated a bit of gamesmanship and obstruction in response to this FOIA request. I didn’t expect them to just offer up the name of the punchy staffer, or his medical records, or a photo of the ladyboy hookers he was probably sitting with, or anything like that. But I did expect that the State Department would otherwise act like responsible law-abiding grown ups and say “OK, one of our embassy guys was involved in an altercation in a public place, here’s our redacted report showing the date, time and location of the incident along with a general description of what happened and how this incident was totally not his fault.”

Ultimately, after four years, the State Department did the right thing, as I always expected them to do. They produced a brief, self-serving report of this incident stating that “the bad guy” attacked an embassy staffer and his car on Street 51.

I greatly appreciate that the law-abiding grown ups on the State Department’s appeals panel have a better understanding of the department’s obligations under the Freedom of Information Act than the buffoonish hearing officer who sent me the original obstructionist response.

Last year I visited Le Broken Plate a few times, and wrote this glowing review of a night there. The location on Street 13 was almost hidden, but once inside the small and trendy restaurant you were warmly welcomed by the chef. It was always a memorable experience, and although never a weekly go-to spot for me, it was always on my mind as a place for a special dinner.

Recently Le Broken Plate has moved to a new location at the corner of Pasteur (st 51) and Street 242, drastically expanding on their previous design. There are a few separate bar areas offering views of chefs slicing up sashimi, and several tables throughout for large groups. The parking area is full of luxury SUVs, clearly showing that this is a location for Phnom Penh’s upper echelon to dine. After hearing that they moved locations a few weeks ago, two of us showed up at about 8:00 PM on a Thursday night. There were several open tables and two of the bar areas fully empty, but we were told that as we did not have a reservation they could not accommodate us — I figured they probably did not have enough ingredients and a limited staff, and didn’t want to give us a sub-par experience, so we left with grace and headed to a wonderful dinner at Iza instead.  Last night we booked a table for a group of 6 in advance. Unfortunately, it was a reservation that we came to regret.

The menu has changed from before. Now there is just one $50 chef’s menu for one, and a la carte options. We asked if the chef’s menu was enough for two, and if we could split it as in the past, and they said yes and yes. So we ordered two of those (for four people), and the other two, less hungry, guests opted for a la carte.  We then set our sights on the wine menu, and were slightly appalled by the lack of quality of the wine, but high prices. Prices were around $33 for very cheep bottles, and $60 for the first bottle that looked ok for dinner, a chablis. We asked if they had a corkage fee for our own bottles, which they said was $10. In a move that we don’t often pull, two of us quickly ran over to the Warehouse, purchased three pretty decent bottles of wine for $40, and returned, figuring that three bottles for a total of $70 beat one at $60. Of course there was a large selection of sake, but I have no idea what good sake is, and don’t want to pay even higher prices for the unknown.

By the time we had returned from the wine mission there was no food yet, which was fine. Shortly thereafter three of the first dishes came out: the oysters (one per person), the edamame, and the seafood salad.  All of these were very good, with a lot of spice in the salad that you could control by adding the fresh chilis or kicking them to the side. They gave us each individual salads and edamame, and the oysters came as one plate with two different sauces. It was a great start to the meal.

But then things started going downhill a bit. It took about 50 minutes for our next “course” to arrive, a very small steamed grouper, served in one bowl, so we needed to share that. And then we waited more, and more, and a waiter asked us if were had received our sashimi courses yet. No, we informed him, we had not.

70 minutes after our starters, and about 100 minutes after ordering, the beautiful sashimi plates arrived. All of the fish was very tender, and the crab shell peeled for us. It all went down very quickly for us.

Another 30 minutes later our beef tenderloin & seafood salad arrived, quickly followed by some casava fries with parmesan that weren’t on the chef’s menu, were kind of cold and pretty bland, but we were hungry so we ate them.

And then we waited again. By our count, we still needed four items from the menu. After letting the chef know that we would like the rest of the food, and the long wait times, he came over to the table and apologized, and also let us know that he was out of the stone crab porridge. He offered us a bottle of wine on the house, which we weren’t quite sure if it was to replace the porridge, or if it was for the long wait times.  The lamb rack and catch of the day finally appeared (by this time I was a little buzzed from all of the wine and annoyed at being there for three hours, and forgot to take a picture).

We asked for the river prawn soup, and were told that we had already had it. Needing to once again find the chef ourselves instead of getting into an argument with the wait staff, he apologized that they were now out of that soup. Annoyed by it all, we asked for the check.

The chef delivered us the check with another bottle of wine. So in the end we missed three courses, the river prawn soup, the stone crab porridge, and the dessert, and were there for 3 hours and 20 minutes.  The chef was a very nice guy, and certainly stressed out. We weren’t charged corkage.

The food we did eat was of the same quality as it always was, but it was memorable for all of the wrong reasons. Waiting essentially 70 minutes between courses is way too long, and missing 30% of the meal is unacceptable. In the past we left full and satisfied, this time we left hungry and tipsy after three hours of drinking wine with little food.

It seems that they expanded too quickly, have untrained staff, and are not ready to serve the number of people that they are trying to.  I’ll be willing to give it another try, but probably not for another year. In that time hopefully he can find the staff he needs, train them enough, and get the house in order. I wish him luck in this, but in the meantime I will leave the place in the hands of the Lexus and Porsche driving Khmers, and find elsewhere to dine myself.

As Water Festival has come to a close, and there remains only one lone holiday left in 2018 (at least it’s on a Monday!), it’s time to look forward to 2019 and the next 28 public holidays.

Public Holidays in Cambodia for the Year 2019

*The Cambodian Royal Government’s sub-decree Nº 126, signed on October 04, 2018, about holidays for government’s and private company’s officers. Dates in parenthesis are rollovers dates from those that fall on a Sunday.

Telephone fraud has been around a long time. The phone offers anonymity between shyster and mark, a separation which makes lies easier to tell and simpler to swallow.

Ever since the 1960’s hard sales techniques have been used by, if not conmen themselves, then those on the payroll.

The first, and perhaps most well-known are “Boiler Rooms”. Often with links to the Mafia, these scams have become synonymous with high-pressure, high rewards and dodgy characters operating from places such as Spain and Thailand.

Although these cocaine sniffing, hard partying westerners are still living it up, and subject to all manner of investigations, internet technology, economic growth and easing of travel restrictions have brought new players to the game.

Less brash, less flash and with a huge recruitment pool, Chinese fraudsters, using what is known as Voice Over Internet Protocol  (VoIP) are operating in such large numbers that entire office blocks and hundreds of staff are regularly getting arrested across South East Asia.

What is VoIP?

In simple terms VoIP means using broadband internet to make telephone calls over a regular telecoms network. Using VoIP transforms your voice into digital bits, and then segments them into separate packets of data that are routed through the Internet and reassembled upon arrival at the other end.

This massively cuts down the costs of making long distance phone calls, and also means that such calls are virtually impossible to trace back to the source.  Numbers can also be ‘spoofed’, so receivers believe that calls are coming from a certain country or locality.

The ‘African Scam’

It was the biggest bust of its kind in Malaysia, and the suspects – 93 Chinese nationals and six Malaysians  were arrested on September 25, 2018, when a luxury office unit was raided in downtown Kuala Lumpur.

The group is accused of offering “shares” from public listed companies in China to lure victims into investing with the promise of handsome returns.

While the majority of the syndicate members worked as “call-centre” operators, some of them had jobs as security guards, translators and even mediators. 21 of the suspects were women.

According to Malaysian Commercial Crime Investigation Department officials, the scam centered on a false stockbroking company, offering dubious shares to the victims in China, locals and the Chinese diaspora across Asia.

Victims were even asked to analyse the stocks using the ‘Tong Da Xin’ app (which tracks share prices in stock markets around the world) before convincing them they could get huge returns on their investments within a short time.

The first few transactions might seem legitimate in order to hook the victims in, according to the CCID director, but then the shares bust, as they were fake.

Posing as a third party entity in buying stocks for the victims, all investments went straight into the syndicate’s bank accounts.

Salary for the call operators was around $600 a month, along with the costs of flights, transport, lodgings and rent for the upmarket offices.

Some estimate that in Hong Kong alone, almost US $2.4 billion is lost to these fake stock scams each year. Almost US $23 million was recently reported to have gone to the scammer syndicates in just 2 months.

The ‘Macau scam’

The term “Macau scam” was possibly coined as it is believed that the fraud either originated from Macau, or that the first victims came from there. However it is unknown whether this is fact or myth.

The scam often starts with a phone call from someone pretending to be an officer from a bank, government agency or debt collector.

The scammer will then claim that the potential victim owes money or has an unpaid fine, often with a very short window of less than an hour, to settle the payment or face “dire consequences”.

These unsuspecting victims will then be asked to make payments to get them off the hook.

With recent clampdowns on corruption, Chinese victims can then be re-targeted for more payments, or face the threat of arrest for committing ‘bribery’ offenses in relation the original payment.

‘Catfishing’

Also known as the romance scam, victims (most often men) are targeted for blackmail. Once a victim is hooked in, threats to reveal the details of steamy online chats to wives, family and bosses leave an embarrassed Lothario no other option than to hand over a sum of cash.

Once on the hook, the victim is targeted over and over in a cycle of rinse and repeat.

Cambodia

Whatever trickery is being pulled in Cambodia, it must be big. On Monday 235 Chinese nationals were arrested by police in rural southern province of Takeo.

Hundreds more at a time have been detained, from all across the country, often in co-operation with police in China. Sadly, although local media are quick to pick up on these arrests, they are less enthusiastic with looking into the hows, wheres and whys.

Cambodian authorities do, on the surface, like to be seen to be tackling the problem, with Chinese nationals paraded past cameras as they prepare to be put on a deportation flight back home, or made to squat in handcuffs with ID cards between their lips.

However, the numbers suggest that this is just the tip of the iceberg, and with the sums of cash being made, these scammers could be around the kingdom for a long time yet.

This is reprinted with permission from CNE.wtf

Last week we celebrated Victory over Genocide Day, with 7 January, 1979 being the day that the Vietnamese military overthrew Pol Pot’s Khmer Rouge regime in Phnom Penh. Here are some photos that we stumbled across, believed to have been taken by the Vietnamese Army Photographers.

Cambodia is the wild west of Asia.

At least that’s what I thought when I landed in Phnom Penh. I was 26-years-old, it was my second time in Asia and I had no idea what to expect. The only other Asian country I had visited before was Thailand. Now it was time to broaden my horizon.

I had planned every detail. I wanted to visit the Royal Palace, the National Museum and the Wat Phnom. And then it happened. My plans went down the drain.

Why? Well, I met a girl.

I met a girl who was so beautiful, so feminine, and so playful that I wanted to spend every second with her. Yes, we went to the Wat Phnom. But we didn’t make it to the National Museum because we were too busy talking about each other’s culture, beliefs and values.

And I was too busy falling in every trap that the Cambodian dating culture provided me with.

What? You Can Speak English?

I didn’t plan to meet her. But when I saw her, I just had to approach her. I took my courage in both hands and said: “Excuse me, do you speak English?”

I expected a blank stare, a hesitant and shy “no”, or something along the lines of “I no English”. Then it happened. She opened her mouth and spoke English. I was shocked. Seriously, I couldn’t believe it.

I asked her if she was Cambodian. She nodded her head. I asked her why she can speak English so well. She was pissed because I was just another ignorant foreigner who believes that Khmer women are uneducated.

And no, before you ask, she doesn’t work as a bar girl. She has a normal job in a fancy hotel in Phnom Penh. I won’t reveal the name, but I’ll reveal another secret that I learned:

Cambodian women have better English skills than Thai women.

I said it. And I won’t take it back.

Give off a Sex Tourist Vibe and You’re Out

Days later I asked her: “Why did you talk to me? Why didn’t you reject me?”

She told me about her experience with other foreigners. Usually, some guy in a dirty tank top, sandals, and socks approaches her. She doesn’t even listen to these guys because well, they are “sex tourists”. “The stereotype is true”, she told me. “They all look the same.”

What about me?

I dressed up. Okay, I didn’t wear a suit, but I wore a blue button shirt, long pants and shoes that consist of more fabric than flip flops. This made all the difference. My vibe was casual and friendly, not desperate and horny.

The moral of the story:

Don’t give off sex tourist vibes. In other words, leave the goddamn sandals and tank tops in the closet.

Avoid Irish Pubs if You Want to Meet Good Girls

Phnom Penh has more than 1.5 million inhabitants. You can meet hundreds, no thousands of good, educated, and friendly Cambodian women.

Why on earth would you look for one in an Irish Pub?

Think before you go out. The guys who spend the whole day sitting in a bar and wondering how to meet a girl that doesn’t work in a are desperate and clueless, at least most of them. A man with a life, mission, and a purpose doesn’t spend his valuable time sipping seven beers in an Irish Pub in Cambodia. It’s that simple.

So, who do you think goes to Western bars to meet men?

Yep, these girls are probably hookers. Or let’s call them potential girlfriends who expect a compensation for their time-investment. Anyway, these are not the kind of women you want to meet.

You want to meet the kind of girls who ask you to eat a damn scorpion.

Wait? What??

I Really Don’t Want to Eat This Scorpion

The biggest pitfalls when it comes to dating in Cambodia are the delicious local meals. Yeah, they are so “delicious”. I want to puke when I think back to some of the things I ate. Yikes!

Okay, I didn’t try the fried spiders. I also didn’t eat any of the crispy crickets. Even though she told me that they taste like chicken wings. No, I ate something else. I tried grilled scorpions, and let me tell you something.

That stuff is quite good.

However, once I thought about what I just ate, I had to run to the bathroom and…I want to spare you the details.

Why Do I Feel Like Walking Next to a Child?

What I’m about to share might sound funny, but it was a serious issue for me.

I had to learn to deal with the fact that she was 30 centimeters smaller than me.

Oh boy, that wasn’t easy. I consider myself a human being with strong moral values. And I felt as if I was walking next to a child. It was so creepy at first, and I was weirded out by myself.

Please don’t get me wrong. I was 26 and she was 25. There was nothing weird or creepy about us being together. I’ve seen way creepier shit in Cambodia than me. But still, it felt weird. In the past, I had always dated women who were taller than 1.60 meters. Now I was walking next to a woman who was 1.50 meters… in high heels! Every time I kissed her, my back hurt. I felt like a grandpa, a creepy grandpa.

She’s More Conservative than Your Grandmother

There’s something you need to know about Cambodian women and you either love it or hate it.

They are pretty conservative.

I tried to kiss her in public (that was dumb). She pushed me away. I asked her to come back to my hotel room. She said “I’m not a prostitute” (duh!). When I told her about her plans in life, she told me that she wants to get married and have a family. Man, I wasn’t ready for children.

It was tough. But I got used to it. In fact, I learned to appreciate it. In the West it’s almost impossible to meet a traditional woman. Now I finally met one. And I couldn’t even get to third base.

She Lives with Her Family and They Want to Meet You

What’s the scariest thing about dating Cambodian women?

Yep, it’s her family.

I mean, it’s not that they are running around with knifes, arrows, and Halloween mask to scare the shit out of you. That’s not what I mean. They are really friendly. But they are so many. I’m an only child with a mom, a dad, and two aunts. That’s about it.

When she told me to meet her family, I expected three or maybe five people.

Suddenly, I found myself standing in front of a 24 Cambodians. Holy crap! I was so nervous that I could feel my heartbeat in my left foot. It took me a while to get comfortable. But don’t worry. None of them had knifes and arrows.

It was all a phenomenal experience.

The author, Sebastian Harris, has written about dating Cambodian women on his own blog, with 24 Facts About Dating Cambodian Girls You Must Know

From a semi-submerged sandbar rising from where the Bassac, Tonle sap and Mekong rivers converge, to the shining light triumphing Phnom Penh’s rapid development as an international city, Koh Pich, or Diamond Island, had a short, and often troubled history.

Humble Beginnings

Koh Pich in the 1990’s

Local legend has it that around 50 years ago a ship sank near the mouth of the Tonle Bassac river. Deposits of silt built up, creating a 700 metre wide island. The area was settled after 1979 by fishing families who also grew crops in the rich soil. By 2004 a conglomerate, Overseas Cambodian Investment Corporation (OCIC), was given permission to develop the island into an international commercial centre.

After a protracted, and often controversial, relocation deal with residents was reached in 2005, and initial construction beginning in 2006, the island is still in a frenzy of building activity over a decade later.

A satellite image showing Koh Pich before and after development began

Tragedy and Recovery

The darkest chapter of recent Cambodian history took place on a fateful night in November 2010. The water festival, a 3 day annual event, is one of the most important dates in the Cambodian calendar. Held to mark the end of the monsoon season and the beginning of the rice harvest, people flock to Phnom Penh to watch boat races and concerts.

22^nd November 2010 will be remembered for ‘The Koh Pich Stampede’, after estimated crowds of 4 million people gathered in Phnom Penh. A bottleneck of festival goers built up on Koh Pich’s northern Diamond Gate Bridge and in the resulting crush 347 lives were lost, although that figure is still questioned and said to be much higher. No official has ever been charged or brought to account over the incident.

A memorial to the victims of the Koh Pich Stampede

A Buddhist stupa now sits close to the site, and the incident is marked each year with a memorial ceremony.

Since the disaster, the original Diamond Gate Bridge was demolished and replaced with the double ‘Twin Dragons Bridge’. Two more crossings were also constructed; Swan Bridge in the centre of the island, and Rainbow Bridge at the south, to ease congestion.

The 2016 Bon Om Touk water festival made a triumphant return to Koh Pich, with an emphasis on public safety. The event was hailed as a great success and was crowd safety was improved on for 2017.  After a series of cancellations, this important celebration of Cambodian traditions is set to once again return to the calendar.

Diamond Island Today

The Island sits on the Bassac, Tonle Sap and Mekong Rivers

Today the north end of the island has become one of the hottest hangouts for Phnom Penh youth, who flock every evening to drink, chat and relax on the riverside. Amusement games and fairground rides in the ‘Children’s Park’ give the area a carnival atmosphere and is family friendly.

After dark street vendors serve up a variety of popular snacks, whilst popular restaurants and fast food outlets cater to those who wish to enjoy everything from fried insects, to suki soup, burgers and seafood close to the river.

Dozens of restaurants have opened along the north side of the island

One of the oldest buildings on Koh Pich is the Diamond Island Conference and Exhibition Center, which hosts concerts, conferences, international trade fairs, and lavish Cambodian wedding ceremonies.

Koh Pich City Hall has a Roman theme

Another building used for wedding functions, as well as official ASEAN dinner receptions is the classically designed Koh Pich City Hall. Opened in 2010, the stunning building and Roman gardens can seat 4000 guests, with the price of a table starting at around $500.

For those who like to get on the fairways, but don’t have time to leave the city, the Huione Golf Club (formally Elite Golf Club) has a driving range, putting area and indoor golf simulator, as well as a gym, pool and sauna.

Huione Golf Club- practice your swing in the city

Around Swan Bridge, on the eastern side of the island are several hotels, including the Shaly Boutique and J’adore Lodge.

A Diamond Life

Privacy and security is key in the Elite Town community

The south of Koh Pich has been dedicated to urban development, with Elite Town. Boreys, or gated communities, sit on streets named after Ivy League schools. With an emphasis on comfort, convenience and security, the villas are in high demand and carry an asking price of $400,000 up to $2,000,000. A 4 bedroom villa from Towncity Real Estate can be rented for $3500 a month.

Due to its proximity to amenities, and Cambodia’s largest shopping complex, Aeon Mall, the area is popular with expats from around the world and diplomats.

Canadian International School

Canadian International School, which opened in 2016, offers a fully accredited curriculum from the province of Alberta, Canada. Currently running programs for pre-school to grade 8, the school, located in Elite Town has plans to expand and develop classes through to secondary level.

The Casa Meridian will be the first condo complex to open

Several ambitious condo developments are almost ready on the island, with the twin towered, 33 story high Casa Meridian due to be completed by the end of this year. With the first 3 floors being reserved for commercial usage, residential condos are available from the fourth floor. The developers promise amenities, such as swimming pool, tennis courts and gym to give owners 5 star luxury living, along with panoramic river views. Prices range from $100,000 to over $1 million with foreign investors being targeted as potential buyers, helped by changes made to old property laws, which now allow condos and apartments to be 100% owned by non-citizens.

A stone’s throw away, and also slated for completion in 2017, is the DI Riviera. Modelled on the iconic Marina Bay Sands complex in Singapore, the five building structure will have three towers of 37 floors and two of 28 making it one of the tallest buildings in Cambodia, once completed.

The DI Riviera has been modelled on Singapore’s Marina Bay Sands

The Future

The Diamond Island story is still far from complete. The success of the Casa Meridian and DI Riviera complexes will determine the number of new condo projects already slated to be built around the area. Access is set to be further improved by two more bridges, bringing the total to five.

Many new developments are taking a neo-classical design

Hopes for a new diplomatic quarter based on the island have also been raised after the Embassy of South Korea opened its doors on Elite Road.

With so much achieved in a relatively short time, the rise of Koh Pich, from marshy farmland to high-end luxury, has not always been easy. As Phnom Penh expands at an astonishing rate each year, all eyes will be on the ambitious diamond, trapped between three rivers and wonder how bright it will shine in an ever-changing city.

An edited version of this article has previously been published in print. It is reprinted here in full with the author’s permission. 

I had some friends visiting from out of town for a week, and they wanted to have a fun and different experience from our other nights out in Phnom Penh. It was an easy choice to settle on Le Broken Plate, which is almost hidden on street 13 and certainly out of place for the surroundings. I had been once before with a large group, but this time it was only four of us. I called mid afternoon and made a reservation, which certainly seems like it needs to be done.

Le Broken Plate is a Japanese inspired restaurant with a focus on sourcing local and sustainable products, as the Cambodian chef will explain at your table. He spent 18 years in Montreal, and as one of our dining companions commented, seems like he is straight out of San Fransisco (in a good way). Fluent in English, French and Khmer, he easily switches between them all as he makes his way around the small dining room to ensure that everyone is enjoying themselves.

There are three menu options: $30, $40, and $50, which are portion sized for two. The options do have different serving amounts (7, 9 and 11 courses; and for a work dinner with 18 people he did a special $25 5 course menu), but the price difference is more about the quality of the ingredients. We opted for two $50 courses (although we could have mixed it up and done a $50 and a $30, for example), while friends that I saw at the bar had opted for a $40 set. If something in particular stands out, you could also order that on top of your set. Needless to say, each of our groups walked out stuffed beyond belief, and we were not ordering anything additional.  It should also be pointed out that the edamame which is served when you sit down is very addictive, and be warned not to over indulge in those before your meal even arrives.

An extensive sake menu to choose from

We really like the atmosphere and design of the place. It’s small and cozy, with a clear eye into the bar area where they’re preparing and plating your food. We had ordered a bottle of sparkling, and when that was done the owner/chef was liberally pouring us sake to try, and chatting it up with us. There is a second floor that was hosting a birthday party, and you could tell they were having a blast up there. It’s also certainly a place to see and be seen: not only did I catch my friend on a date, but I saw another friend in a group at the bar, a young Cambodian Director General that I knew appeared for dinner, and later on another well known expat businessman poked his head in to see who was around.

 Soup #1

 Soup #2

 Main Seafood Platter (several “courses”)

The Main Meat/Cooked Seafood Platter

Always need some oysters

Some of the best congee I’ve had (seafood congee), but was so full by this point.

 Stuffed “crab brain”

One of the downsides that needs to be worked upon is the timing of the courses. We waited a decent while after ordering to have two soups appear at once, and later on the two main platters were served on top of one another, and then there was a long break before the last two courses. Everything served comes out beautifully, and there are common flavors to bring you through the meal; at times, a little too common throughout.

All in all, it is an excellent choice for dinner, may you be on a date, with friends, or entertaining a business colleague that would like to try something a little different. The atmosphere is killer, the chef more than affable, and the food is an excellent value. Our dinner for four with a bottle of sparkling was $129.  A date (food and wine) could easily be done for under $60.

Cambodia is changing. On the way out are the wretched, the desperate, the runaways, alkies and deathpats. They don’t suit the new ‘developed’ status that the country now is hell-bent on portraying, albeit fairly unsuccessfully. Out with the beer guts proudly displayed protruding from wife-beater vests! Out with the flip-flops/sandles/thongs! Out with the Walkabout – tear down that Mall!

In with the Chinese and their discreet KTV clubs and restaurants of garish neon, for they shall bring investment and casinos. And they shall inherit the earth, until the debt bubble bursts and the paper tiger collapses like a gambling house of Sihanoukville playing cards.

But white folk aren’t banned, there are still plenty about; it is merely the demographics which are shifting. When the streets were rough, mean and paved with holes, and one could rent the Jacuzzi suite on Rue Pasteur along with 3 Viet hookers dressed in ball gowns, the very idea of a man-bun sporting, waistcoat wearing digital nomad quaffing deconstructed lattes from an ironic drinking horn would have been as alien a concept as 24 hour electricity, work permits or 4g internet.

Of course, your average English teacher or drunk on a budget couldn’t afford one of the thousands of shoddy looking condos springing up like prefab concrete triffids, nor would they be able to spunk a few grand playing baccarat in a windowless cavern. And whilst the sales of second hand Hondas would remain stable, the luxury car market would stagnate.

Backpacker orientated businesses are eagerly trying to sell up for health reasons, or are pushed from town to town by a tsunami of apartment swallowing Sino casino staff and VOIP scammers. TEFL jobbers are increasingly jumping the border over to Vietnam (even Jewsbury’s got work over there FFS), whilst their more well at heel brethren are busy sipping mango daiquiris on the rooftop of Rosewood- or scoffing down swan truffle canapés, hand crafted by an artisan who once worked in a Michelin star restaurant.

Yet Phnom Penh is not downtown Tokyo, trendy Soho or cultured Paris. It’s still an absolute shithole, albeit with a face-lift akin to a dodgy botox injection administered by an unqualified beautician in a back street plastic surgery-cum-abortion clinic. The city is a turd, which can never be polished, or at least not for a long time yet.

So what of the masses? Where should they head, now that the dens of iniquity are undergoing gentrification along Street 51? Most of Street 172 and Bogan bars like Fuel hang on as refuges to the bottom-feeder, but for how long, nobody knows. There are, however, the final strongholds, the last bastions of day time drunks on a budget and they are still to be found across the city. These are the Mini-Marts, and long may they continue.

A good Mini-Mart should offer the following to their clientele- a range of cold beers, cigarettes, snacks and outside seating and not have a strict dress code. Sexual performance medicines, prophylactic sheaths, sanitary products, 24 hour opening and toilet facilities are, of course, a bonus.

There are local institutions, like Neil’s 24 Hour on Street 136, Smile Marts and clones with names like Panda,  Llama, Kiwi, and even now the new kid on the block, US franchise 7-11 (not to be confused with 9-11, which has been open for years, seemingly without realizing the irony).

So, as the Writer’s Page of Khmer440 is gentrified by articles about poncey paint and pinot, or baller banquets in Bangkok (and, please nobody mention fucking Bouchan or Sonoma), the gauntlet was thrown down to find the finest mini-mart in town.

Review Time- Camko Mart *****

Location: Located on Angkor Boulevard at the northern fringes of Toul Kork, the Camko Mart, a focal point for the disappointing utopian dream that is Camko City, isn’t the easiest mart to get to. This shouldn’t put you off, as it keeps away the riff-raff. Along this well built, but barely used modern highway, oriental gentleman in mid-life crisis mode ride expensive carbon framed mountain bikes, replete in their finest lycra livery. Across the road is an open expanse of waste ground, no doubt for sale at a ridiculous price, combining the gritty urban setting with the sweet vibes of mother nature. ****

Ambience: The al fresco seating arrangement at Camko Mart is of a higher standard than lesser marts found near the riverside. Stylish faux wicker chairs and circular tables with real glass tops are the essence of high quality marting, putting Camko Mart a cut above the competition. The noise of Mong Rethy Street is a mere murmur in the background, like a new age soundtrack playing at an unobtrusive volume.

The area is particularly popular amongst Koreans and Japanese, and, as one relaxes in the shade, there is the opportunity to people-watch, as families go past, trying to get their spoiled, morbidly obese offspring to get some exercise through offers of ice cream and energy drinks. ****

Selection: Camko Mart has one of the finest arrays of beverages in the city. A well-stocked refrigerator has something for everyone- on my visit I counted many local lagers, as well as Magner’s cider, and imports including bottles of Fuller’s London Pride, Porter and Honeydew ales. At under $2 a bottle for the rare brews, you’d be hard pushed to find better value for money at other, inferior convenience stores.   

There is also a wide range of wines and spirits on offer, which could in theory be drunk on site, or taken away to continue the party.

To the rear of the store is a poor man’s Toys R Us, which, together with the gelataria, makes Camko Mart a family friendly environment where drunken parents can bribe the kids with plastic tat and ice cream to keep them amused. *****

Clientele: Mostly a young, Asian crowd who like to gather in small groups to discuss hot news and mooch free wi-fi from the coffee shop next door.

A lack of girly bars and knocking shops in Camko City means the eye candy is lackluster, so isn’t particularly suited to pervs and lechers, although the odd diamond in the rough may appear unexpectedly. A few nubile Slavic types from the gated community have been spotted doing sports, and there is the potential for Japanese MILF hunters, if that’s your bag. ***

Food: Hors d’oeuvres such as peanuts, dried peas and squid based snacks may be purchased from the counter, however Mike’s Burger House is a few doors down and BYO burgers are not in any way discouraged by the effusive Camko Mart management. ***

Toilet Facilities: A grey area for chaps, as it is easy to nip over the road and give the bushes a sprinkle. There should be somewhere for number 2’s and a place for the ladies to powder their noses. The coffee shop and burger joint are other, emergency options. **

Overall: Although a little off the beaten path for daytime alcoholics, a trip to Camko Mart is a rewarding day out for the true mini mart connoisseur. Genuine marteteers  will take delight with the pleasant, unpretentious setting and wonderfully well stocked fridge, friendly staff and nearby amenities. Camko Mart stands tall amongst the crowd as a place for upmarket lowlifes to have a boozy weekend afternoon. ***** 

Other Reviews (These are 100% real reviews from facebook and Google):

“It is good place for me, always make fresh over there i really love it.”

“I like the designation right there and the view look cool.”

“I like there”

“Nice place! For buy and we can sit outdoor”

“Very busy little mart from lath afternoon for the local people, drink and chit chat..”

“look so nice ..”

According to the World Bank, Cambodia has the following scores out of 190 countries with regards to doing business:

Over all ease of doing business rank: 135

Paying taxes: 136

Starting a business: 183

Dealing with construction permits: 179

Enforcing contracts: 179

This leaves 65 countries which are worse to do business in, admittedly, such as the DRC, South Sudan and Yemen, which may not be the best places to open a vegan café or Elvis themed dive bar in. Yet fools keep hopping on the carousel of certain financial ruin, going round and round until they feel dizzy and sick, then passing the seat on to the next white man with a wedge and poorly thought out business model.

Running a successful business in a place where you speak the language, understand the culture and can nurture a loyal customer base is tricky enough, but trying it in a place where there are several thousand ‘generals’ and a population which still believes in magic scarecrows and burns witches, means you gotta be crazy.

Cambodia itself is detrimental to your health, and working in Cambodia is even more severely detrimental. Owning a business in Cambodia is the equivalent of smoking 5 packs of Marlboro Reds and drinking 5 pints of whisky a day (also known as ‘breakfast’ for some expat barkeepers).  Holidays are an impossible dream, as staff and customers are ready to load up unsecured stock into a tuk tuk as soon as your taxi leaves for the airport. In short, the stress of running a business can lead to alcoholism, peptic ulcers, cardiovascular problems, strokes and insanity. Thus the main reason for selling ‘profitable, turnkey’ operations is due to poor health.

But before you get sucked in by the idea of shelling out $30k on a shop unit in Kampot with 2 years 8 months left on the lease, here is a quickly complied 7 point list of why you should never open a business in Cambodia. None of this is fiction, but hard stone cold facts from real people and real businesses over the past few years.

1) Return on investment.

If you have money to burn, save yourself the hassle of doing business in Cambodia, and just burn it. Use it to light a Barbie or warm the house, or something actually useful. It is hard enough to make a profit, let alone see any returns on the outlay for setting up the project, especially in the hospitality racket.

Either you pay over the odds for somebody else’s dream, along with the stock and furnishings, or you face the nightmare of local contractors fitting out an empty space to look fashionable and hip enough to draw in paying punters.

When the reality of working 15 hour days just to pay bills and eat finally dawns, then it’s time to get out. The best thing is to do is to get down on your bended knees and pray to your god to deliver a sucker who will reply to your ad for a ‘turnkey operation’. Then practice your best shit eating grin and smother down on a greasy salesman charm offensive until the sap wires through the cash. If luck is on your side, then perhaps breaking even is a possibility. 9/10 you lose.

2) Landlords can be assholes.

Khmer landlords have a reputation for not really playing by Queensbury rules. Contracts are routinely broken, rents are hiked up by 100% and more at the end of a 5 year lease, and deposits are rarely returned. Plus clauses state properties must be in ‘original condition’, which, although means ‘shit hole condition’ actually allows them to keep as many fittings paid for and installed by the tenant as possible, and retaining the deposit as the flaking walls have been repainted and the leaking ceiling patched up. Landlords would often rather lose rental income than face.

If the building owners strike gold and are approached by legitimate businessmen from China, who offer silly money to take over the premises to build a hotel-casino complex, you’ll be turfed out on your ear quicker than you can say egg foo-yung. Just ask the guys down in Little Macao.

3) Partners can be assholes.

Choosing a business partner can be tricky anywhere in the world, with the first rule being ‘trust’. However, in the Kingdom of Wonder there are exactly zero trustworthy characters. Zilch, nada, not one.

It doesn’t matter if you team up with a high flying European investor with cash to burn, a fellow restauranteur who wants to go halves on a pizza parlor and jazz club or a meth addict recently washed up from Pattaya, they’ll all end up doing the dirty somehow.

Legal threats, visits from top brass officials, digging up dirt and slanderous half-truths being leaked on the internet right down to selling the business for cash without consultation, or simply robbing as much as can be carried before legging it across the border are just a few ways those you trust will bend you over and sodomise you with a red hot sledgehammer.

Of course any hint of scandal is eagerly lapped up by the circling gossip-vultures who make up the majority of fellow expats, who like nothing more than to wallow in schadenfreude and revel in the failings of others.

4) Local staff can be assholes.

Labor is cheap in Cambodia. Work ethics can be equally low. Not only do workers receive 27 public holidays a year under National Labor Law, but will also require further days off for:

Weddings

Engagements

Funerals

7/100/365+day funeral ceremonies

Good luck ceremonies

House warmings

Sick relatives

Just ‘busy’

General ‘stomach-aitch’ and ‘head-aitch’.

Much of the working day will be spent glued to a smartphone anyway, with clientele being treated as an inconvenience whenever they have the ill manners to ask for something. Many will have their hands in the till or skim off as many Riel as possible when buying stock from the market.

Staffing problems can be further exasperated by taking on members of the same family, who will close ranks in the event of any dispute, or cover each other’s hides when cash and stock go missing.

Females with a bit of sass may run off with the first white customer to charm his way under her safety shorts, leaving the business understaffed again. Others will relish the provided training, progress well with a great eye for detail before putting all the experience gained into great use by negotiating a local price on a property across the street, bring in the family as helpers and start knocking out the same products at a substantially cheaper rate.

5) Customers are assholes.

Foreigners with cash want good quality and good service, which don’t always skip merrily hand in hand together. Poor teachers, general pond scum and backpackers want everything free. All will use your free wi-fi to leave terrible reviews on Tripadvisor, just for the hell of it. Others will argue the bill or skip it all together. Customers from certain Asian countries may very well use every floor space and furnishing as an ashtray/spittoon and shout a lot. In addition, even not so rarely, somebody might walk in off the street and decide to die on the premises.

6) The ‘Man’ is on your back.

There is a reason for Cambodia being so low down on the whole starting a business thing. Back in the day a hand-painted sign, a few crates of drinks and some furniture in a lakeside shack were all the credentials needed to set up shop. Nowadays it’s a murky world of taxes, business licenses, registrations, staff quotas, work permits, NSSF contributions and other stuff men in uniform seem to make up and enforce at a whim. Shakedowns from various departments are not unheard of, nor are requests for gifts around public holidays. The best thing about these rules and regulations is that nobody actually seems to know anything about them, until they suddenly become a thing, and thus liability is backdated to 1993.

The powers that be might suddenly decide all signage must be in yellow with a flower on, or that everything beginning with the letter P is immoral and has a detrimental effect on the youth, thus illegal to sell. After a national clampdown on pizza and pasta, the law gets forgotten about until the next time a big player’s daughter gets engaged, or when he loses a five figure sum at Naga world.

7) Competition.

No matter what you do, if it works well and others notice you making money, then a string of copycats will pop up in the neighborhood, ripping off everything from your logo down to the color of the staff uniforms. They will change at least one vowel of your registered business name to avoid any confusion over intellectual property rights.

This competition will also pull in the support from family or grab a few teenagers from Prey Veng in a debt bondage scheme, allowing lower overheads to cut costs. The average white tourist knows nothing of this, and would rather buy from a local business than a carpet bagging neo-colonialist who sleeps on a mattress stuffed with dollars made from exploiting the poor natives.

Any complaints will be met with screeching in the streets and a visit from another family member, who just happens to be a high ranking police officer.

In Conclusion

Before the various expat ‘winners’ and Chamber of Commerce members chime in, it is acknowledged that some foreigners have done well for themselves, despite the difficulties mentioned. Yet the great majority does not.

Now, want to buy a bar? Great location, walk in trade, loyal customer base. 3 years left on the lease ($1200 a month), staff (like family) willing to stay on. $33,000, reason for selling- health.

Rent: $43,200

Conservative staff salary: $16,200

Conservative bills: $7200

Tax and ‘extras’: $?000

Purchase: $33,000

That’s at least $100,000 outgoings over the 3 years, without paying yourself a wage. A hell of a lot of beers need to be sold to make a profit. What’ll go first – Your health or your cash?

Last year, I wrote an article bitching and moaning about the U.S. State Department’s stonewalling response to my Freedom of Information Act (“FOIA”) request for documents about a bar fight involving an embassy staffer outside Golden Sorya Mall. That incident was described as follows in the August 2014 edition of Bayon Pearnik magazine:

The Original Response to My FOIA Request

My article discussed that three years after I submitted my FOIA request, the State Department’s FOIA Hearing Officer sent me this rather shameful collection of completely whitewashed documents:

I argued in the article that the State Department’s refusal to provide me with any substantive information about the bar fight violated the department’s FOIA obligations and was quite shameful and hypocritical, in light of how our diplomats continually implore Cambodian authorities to adopt a culture of governmental transparency.

A few months after writing the article, I did what any perfectly sane person with way too much time on his hands would do. I appealed the State Department’s improper response to my FOIA request.

The Appeal

The gist of my 7 page appeal was: (1) there’s nothing private about an embassy staffer fighting in public, (2) no secret law enforcement techniques would be revealed by producing the incident report and photos, and (3) withholding these documents is inconsistent with our government’s regular practice of releasing information when our personnel misbehave, or are the victims of violent crime, in foreign lands.

My appeal was assigned to a FOIA appeals panel of three former U.S. ambassadors:

1. 90 year-old Francis Terry McNamara, who served in the U.S. Navy during World War II before joining the foreign service during President Eisenhower’s first term. He was serving as Consul General in Can Tho, Vietnam in April 1975 when he led a heroic evacuation down the Bassac River at the helm of a landing craft with 300 Vietnamese employees and members their families aboard. They were picked up by a passing freighter after making it to the South China Sea. McNamara later served as ambassador to Gabon and Cape Verde.

2. 77 year-old James F. Mack, an Ivy League graduate (OK, he went to Cornell, but still) and early Peace Corps volunteer who joined the foreign service in 1966 and was promptly posted to our embassy in Saigon working for Ambassador Henry Cabot Lodge. 31 years later Mack was named ambassador to Guyana.

3. 81 year-old William Ryerson, also a Cornell graduate, who joined the foreign service a few days after President Kennedy was sworn in and served in Berlin during Kennedy’s famous visit there. He became an expert on our relations with Eastern Europe, and in 1991 President Bush named him the first U.S. Ambassador to Albania since 1939.

That’s a pretty good panel of accomplished men. They are men of substance, men who devoted their lives to performing essential diplomatic work for the United States, advancing freedom and democracy in difficult and dangerous Cold War hotspots. And now, in their golden years, these three former ambassadors were tasked with reading and ruling on my whiny appeal begging for documents about a knucklehead embassy staffer getting his ass kicked in a bar fight on Street 51.

The Panel’s Response to My Appeal

I am pleased to report that this panel of very wise and super-old white dudes agreed with me and granted my FOIA appeal, for the most part. They released the Local Guard Force Incident Report, which explains that on July 25, 2014 at about 10:55 p.m., an embassy guard posted in at a residence in Boeung Keng Kang 1 encountered an embassy staffer with a serious head wound emitting heavy bloodshed. The staffer explained that “the bad guy hit him and his car at Pit Stop bar #48E0 on Street 51.” He was taken to SOS Clinic for treatment.

The panel also released three previously withheld pages of photos of the incident. Those photos (two of which are nearly identical) were sent to me as poor quality black and white copies on A4 paper. They appear to show a car with a completely smashed driver’s side window as well as damage to the windshield consistent with it having been hit by a can of Anchor or similar object.

Here are even poorer quality photos I just took of these black and white copies with my phone.

The panel decided to withhold the two remaining photos of the incident on the basis of “personal privacy.” I’m guessing these withheld photos show the embassy staffer and his bloody head.

The Bayon Pearnik column mentioned that when the pugilistic embassy staffer initially drove off, locals pelted his car with “stuff.” The photos of the broken window and windshield appear to confirm the veracity of Bayon Pearnik‘s report. The Bayon Pearnik account also mentioned that after the staffer left the scene in his car, embassy SUVs and a K-9 team showed up at the scene of the fight and caused half the customers of Golden Sorya Mall to depart. The Local Guard Force Incident Report does not mention this K-9 team response at all.

The End

As I wrote in my original article:

Look, I’m not naive. I anticipated a bit of gamesmanship and obstruction in response to this FOIA request. I didn’t expect them to just offer up the name of the punchy staffer, or his medical records, or a photo of the ladyboy hookers he was probably sitting with, or anything like that. But I did expect that the State Department would otherwise act like responsible law-abiding grown ups and say “OK, one of our embassy guys was involved in an altercation in a public place, here’s our redacted report showing the date, time and location of the incident along with a general description of what happened and how this incident was totally not his fault.”

Ultimately, after four years, the State Department did the right thing, as I always expected them to do. They produced a brief, self-serving report of this incident stating that “the bad guy” attacked an embassy staffer and his car on Street 51.

I greatly appreciate that the law-abiding grown ups on the State Department’s appeals panel have a better understanding of the department’s obligations under the Freedom of Information Act than the buffoonish hearing officer who sent me the original obstructionist response.

Last year I visited Le Broken Plate a few times, and wrote this glowing review of a night there. The location on Street 13 was almost hidden, but once inside the small and trendy restaurant you were warmly welcomed by the chef. It was always a memorable experience, and although never a weekly go-to spot for me, it was always on my mind as a place for a special dinner.

Recently Le Broken Plate has moved to a new location at the corner of Pasteur (st 51) and Street 242, drastically expanding on their previous design. There are a few separate bar areas offering views of chefs slicing up sashimi, and several tables throughout for large groups. The parking area is full of luxury SUVs, clearly showing that this is a location for Phnom Penh’s upper echelon to dine. After hearing that they moved locations a few weeks ago, two of us showed up at about 8:00 PM on a Thursday night. There were several open tables and two of the bar areas fully empty, but we were told that as we did not have a reservation they could not accommodate us — I figured they probably did not have enough ingredients and a limited staff, and didn’t want to give us a sub-par experience, so we left with grace and headed to a wonderful dinner at Iza instead.  Last night we booked a table for a group of 6 in advance. Unfortunately, it was a reservation that we came to regret.

The menu has changed from before. Now there is just one $50 chef’s menu for one, and a la carte options. We asked if the chef’s menu was enough for two, and if we could split it as in the past, and they said yes and yes. So we ordered two of those (for four people), and the other two, less hungry, guests opted for a la carte.  We then set our sights on the wine menu, and were slightly appalled by the lack of quality of the wine, but high prices. Prices were around $33 for very cheep bottles, and $60 for the first bottle that looked ok for dinner, a chablis. We asked if they had a corkage fee for our own bottles, which they said was $10. In a move that we don’t often pull, two of us quickly ran over to the Warehouse, purchased three pretty decent bottles of wine for $40, and returned, figuring that three bottles for a total of $70 beat one at $60. Of course there was a large selection of sake, but I have no idea what good sake is, and don’t want to pay even higher prices for the unknown.

By the time we had returned from the wine mission there was no food yet, which was fine. Shortly thereafter three of the first dishes came out: the oysters (one per person), the edamame, and the seafood salad.  All of these were very good, with a lot of spice in the salad that you could control by adding the fresh chilis or kicking them to the side. They gave us each individual salads and edamame, and the oysters came as one plate with two different sauces. It was a great start to the meal.

But then things started going downhill a bit. It took about 50 minutes for our next “course” to arrive, a very small steamed grouper, served in one bowl, so we needed to share that. And then we waited more, and more, and a waiter asked us if were had received our sashimi courses yet. No, we informed him, we had not.

70 minutes after our starters, and about 100 minutes after ordering, the beautiful sashimi plates arrived. All of the fish was very tender, and the crab shell peeled for us. It all went down very quickly for us.

Another 30 minutes later our beef tenderloin & seafood salad arrived, quickly followed by some casava fries with parmesan that weren’t on the chef’s menu, were kind of cold and pretty bland, but we were hungry so we ate them.

And then we waited again. By our count, we still needed four items from the menu. After letting the chef know that we would like the rest of the food, and the long wait times, he came over to the table and apologized, and also let us know that he was out of the stone crab porridge. He offered us a bottle of wine on the house, which we weren’t quite sure if it was to replace the porridge, or if it was for the long wait times.  The lamb rack and catch of the day finally appeared (by this time I was a little buzzed from all of the wine and annoyed at being there for three hours, and forgot to take a picture).

We asked for the river prawn soup, and were told that we had already had it. Needing to once again find the chef ourselves instead of getting into an argument with the wait staff, he apologized that they were now out of that soup. Annoyed by it all, we asked for the check.

The chef delivered us the check with another bottle of wine. So in the end we missed three courses, the river prawn soup, the stone crab porridge, and the dessert, and were there for 3 hours and 20 minutes.  The chef was a very nice guy, and certainly stressed out. We weren’t charged corkage.

The food we did eat was of the same quality as it always was, but it was memorable for all of the wrong reasons. Waiting essentially 70 minutes between courses is way too long, and missing 30% of the meal is unacceptable. In the past we left full and satisfied, this time we left hungry and tipsy after three hours of drinking wine with little food.

It seems that they expanded too quickly, have untrained staff, and are not ready to serve the number of people that they are trying to.  I’ll be willing to give it another try, but probably not for another year. In that time hopefully he can find the staff he needs, train them enough, and get the house in order. I wish him luck in this, but in the meantime I will leave the place in the hands of the Lexus and Porsche driving Khmers, and find elsewhere to dine myself.

As Water Festival has come to a close, and there remains only one lone holiday left in 2018 (at least it’s on a Monday!), it’s time to look forward to 2019 and the next 28 public holidays.

Public Holidays in Cambodia for the Year 2019

*The Cambodian Royal Government’s sub-decree Nº 126, signed on October 04, 2018, about holidays for government’s and private company’s officers. Dates in parenthesis are rollovers dates from those that fall on a Sunday.